Heartbreak and Hormones: Navigating Emotional Recovery and Managing Stress

Ever wondered why heartbreak feels like an all-out assault on your mind and body? Picture cortisol as the “mean girl” hormone, wreaking havoc in your brain like Regina George. This episode invites you to understand and manage the emotional rollercoaster following a breakup. Sharing my personal journey, I recount the shock and subsequent "cortisol crash" that left me grappling for balance. With insights from Julianne Beeston, a brilliant medical herbalist, we dissect the body’s raw fight-or-flight response to emotional upheaval and explore how understanding these reactions is key to regaining resilience and grace.

Unlock effective ways to manage high cortisol levels with practical strategies that promise real relief. Imagine finding solace through simple acts like deep belly breathing, not skipping breakfast, and prioritizing quality sleep. These aren't just tips—they're lifelines for those navigating the emotional aftermath of a breakup. Together, we underscore the vital importance of acknowledging stress's very real physiological impacts, and offer actionable solutions to help steer you towards recovery. By incorporating these strategies into your daily routine, you can take meaningful steps toward reducing stress and enhancing your overall well-being.

Heartbreak isn't just an emotional event—it's a significant life disruption that deserves careful attention and self-care. This episode underscores the importance of treating emotional distress with the same seriousness as a physical injury, with a focus on self-kindness and recalibrating your nervous system. Julianne and I discuss how reaching out for support and employing accessible tools can aid in emotional recovery. By joining the Heartbreak Hackers community, you'll find resources and support to help navigate this trying time, making your path toward healing and rediscovery more accessible and profound.

Chapters

• 0:00 Navigating Heartbreak
• 14:18 Stress Intervention and Healing Strategies
• 31:41 Emotional Recovery and Self-Care Tips
• 35:50 Heartbreak Hacking Tips and Community

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Going through a breakup, Struggling with being all up in your feels, Finding it hard to get through the day. Heartbreak sucks and we've all been there. If you're in need of some life hacks on how to regulate your emotions, practically manage your life and how to rediscover yourself post-breakup, you've come to the right place. This is your roadmap to navigating out of this time in your life with intelligence, humour, sass and a little bit of tough love when you need it. Welcome to how To Hack your Heartbreak with your host, Louise Wilkinson.

Speaker 2: 0:45

You've all watched Mean Girls right. Here's poor little Katie Heron, all unsuspecting, and then along comes Queen Bee, regina George, to wreak havoc on her life in cruel and unusual ways. Today we're going to be talking about the mean girl in your brain, the take-no-prisoners drama queen that we call Cortisol. There's little to no doubt that Cortisol will take centre stage in the days and weeks after your initial breakup. She certainly makes a presence felt, and if she was an opera singer in the spotlight she would sing a note so piercing it would shatter glass. She's the reason you can't sleep, eat or function. Quite brutal, really. And unless we reduce her levels in a healthy and purposeful way, our body will continue to be in distress until we deal with it. In my own experience, looking back, I can totally see that I was in a classic cortisol response for the first 12 days after my breakup Shock, numbness and confusion as I fell through my days. I told people close to me in a kind of monotone matter of fact way, and I was actually quite taken aback when they burst into tears, got really fucking angry or said this isn't happening. You were so happy. I don't believe this is unfolding. Is he having some sort of episode Up until day 13,.

Speaker 2: 2:13

I thought that I was going fairly okay. I was proud of myself for setting a boundary and walking away. I kept all of my work commitments. I even caught myself being happy at work and experiencing joy. I thought I sounded half sane. I thought I was doing the right things working, getting my chores done, enjoying the time, having the whole weekend at home to rearrange my cupboards as you do, yup wrong.

Speaker 2: 2:40

Then Sunday hit my cortisol obviously took the hint that it was no longer in mortal danger and exited stage left. My first clue was that I slept past 3.30am, which I hadn't done in the past 12 nights. Waking up at 8am, I congratulated myself on a solid six hours sleep. Then I tried to move. Holy fuck, I felt like every bone in my body had tripled in weight overnight and the sheer effort it took to get out of bed was shocking. Still not registering, I thought coffee, I just need coffee. And I made my way to the kitchen to make my brew. It didn't help.

Speaker 2: 3:18

That day I experienced exhaustion like I had never experienced in my life. What the hell was going on? Well, dear listener, it turns out that I was experiencing a cortisol crash, also known as acute adrenal fatigue and I had not in fact been killing it. For the first few days, as I had believed, I tried to ignore and push aside my symptoms like an absolute idiot, because I thought I was strong and capable. Yeah, my body had other ideas and was about to deflate my ego in dramatic fashion. Off to the doctors, I went, and, after a consultation demanding I take time off and actually take care of myself, I also reached out to the fabulous professionals I had access to on my radio show to help support me and my body in the best way possible In a lot of respects.

Speaker 2: 4:09

My cortisol crash was the day when how To Hack your Heartbreak was born. I received so many hacks from people in many areas of expertise. I knew how truly blessed I was. But it also gave me the motivation to share what I've learned so that you don't have to suffer with a physical, mental and emotional turmoil quite as badly as uneducated little old me had to.

Speaker 2: 4:32

Knowledge is power and action is everything. One of the first people I reached out to was Julianne Beeston, a medical herbalist with a passion for helping people with stress, change and shock. The knowledge she has on cortisol, its effects and how we can combat. That is second to none, and so, of course, I asked Jules to share her knowledge with you, which she so generously agreed to do. Julianne, thanks so much for joining us on how to Hack your Heartbreak. It's an absolute pleasure to have you here, and today we're going to dive into the drama queen that is cortisol. Now, to set the scene, the breakups just happened. We have hopefully got ourselves to a place where we're feeling a little bit of emotional safety, be that a room in our house if we're living with our partner, or we've gone to our parents' place, or perhaps we have our own place to go to and the bomb's just gone off. So we're a little bit shell-shocked and feeling a little bit weird, and we can kind of put that down to a little thing called cortisol, can't we?

Speaker 3: 5:47

Absolutely, absolutely or specifically, our stress response, the fight, flight or freeze response. And so what's happening is, when our brain perceives a threat, so in this case a breakup or a loss or a change to our living situation, cortisol will spike to get us to survive that situation, and initially that's a really good thing.

Speaker 2: 6:13

like this evolved in us to keep us alive, so it essentially helps us survive yeah, it's like when we were tribal beings the cortisol would spike if we came up against a bear or a tiger or whatever it was, and the cortisol would give us the energy to run from that threat. But as society has evolved, we don't walk down the street and by happenstance run into a tiger, but our body is wired that way, so it reacts the same to a perceived threat, right.

Speaker 3: 6:46

That's right. So that response to that threat was designed to be short-lived and ideally, cortisol level will return to normal. Yeah, and when it returns to normal, cortisol is actually doing a lot of helpful things in our body, like it helps us wake up, it it helps us wind down. But when that stress response doesn't resolve like we don't have the saber-tooth tiger to run away from, it can stay elevated, and that's very common when we're dealing with a breakup or processing a loss.

Speaker 2: 7:18

Yeah, okay. So how would we know that cortisol apart from listening to the wisdom that is us on this podcast? How would we know that cortisol has spiked in our body? What are some of the physical ways that it might show up?

Speaker 3: 7:36

Yeah, okay. Well, when I'm working with clients, one of the first things I connect with them on this topic would be okay. So are you finding that you're not eating, or are you totally craving crack? This is no accident and it's not an issue with your lack of willpower. This is part of that survival response of the elevated cortisol. Your body wants you to survive. It wants fuel, Right. The elevated cortisol. Your body wants you to survive. It wants fuel, Right, yeah, and a lot of people are blaming themselves or feeling like well, I used to be able to eat well, and now I'm just gorging on chocolate or chips. That can be part of the cortisol response. There's a lot of blood glucose in your system. Your body's using a lot. You can be a bit more insulin resistant than you would normally be.

Speaker 2: 8:32

Your body's just screaming to all of your cells give me fuel Right. And what about the opposite? Because I know, in the first few hours, well, first few days after my breakup, I mean, I have never had an issue with food. And you know, love food, I'm Italian. What am I going to do? But the thought of eating was just completely foreign to me in those first few days. I didn't feel like I wanted to eat at all.

Speaker 3: 8:58

Yeah, and that is the initial cortisol spike. So the initial cortisol spike will be shutting down or putting the brakes on other functions of your body that aren't considered essential to your short-term survival, and so the digestive process is one of them.

Speaker 2: 9:17

Right.

Speaker 3: 9:18

You know your body's, you know being prepared to run from danger or to fight danger. It doesn't want you to lounge around feeding yourself grapes.

Speaker 2: 9:27

Yeah, I guess, if we go back to that saber-toothed tiger analogy, the last thing your body is going to want to do is have a snack while you're running away from the saber-toothed tiger.

Speaker 3: 9:38

Yeah, yeah, absolutely, absolutely. So that is a classic example cortisol spike response. Right, absolutely Okay, and that you know it's a tricky space to be in because you're dealing with your own trauma. You've got a heightened need for nutrients, but your body has effectively shut down its normal digestive capability. So it is a tricky space to be in from that self-care perspective.

Speaker 2: 10:06

Yeah, definitely, I can completely see that. What are some of the other ways that it might show up? So obviously, yeah, digestion being one of them.

Speaker 3: 10:18

And can that cause some tummy issues as well? For sure, for sure. So you can have changes to your bowel habits. Whether it's swinging between constipation and diarrhea you might be feeling really queasy and nauseated. Constipation and diarrhea you might be feeling really queasy and nauseated. So this is a time when new digestive symptoms can really pop up.

Speaker 2: 10:35

Yeah, yeah, for sure, okay. So what are some of the other ways that it might show up?

Speaker 3: 10:41

Yeah, so disordered sleep Again. Normally cortisol is meant to peak in the morning to wake you up and then drop off in the evening to help us get to sleep. So you may find that you're really tired, but you just can't get to sleep yeah, tied and wired yeah absolutely, absolutely. Yeah, you may also be getting um some chest pain or palpitations, or you may check in with your doctor and they flag that your blood pressure is up. These are all responses to elevated cortisol.

Speaker 2: 11:19

I'm sitting here nodding because each and every one of these I went through in that first horrific week and yeah, I'm sure that a lot of people listening will be nodding along as well going oh, so that's what was happening. I thought I was losing my mind. So, while it's normal, it's not real desirable long term, is it?

Speaker 3: 11:48

No, no. Long term is it? No, no, no cortisol has, you know, a cross talk with other systems in our body and then cortisol is elevated beyond that acute stress response. That cross talk is a bit of a nasty one. It's not a friendly chat at all. So it can dysregulate our immune system. It can end up causing weight gain. It can drive depression and anxiety and a lot of things that just leave people feeling like it's just me or I'm just not coping. It's not in your head, it's real. The driver is that elevated cortisol Right.

Speaker 2: 12:28

Now, after sort of the bomb has gone off, the breakup bomb has gone off, how long? I mean, I know how long is a piece of string and everyone will react differently, but what would be, I guess, a normal and I put that in air quotes expectation of how long the acute response would last.

Speaker 3: 12:51

Yeah, well, again, yeah, how long is a piece of string and everybody is different and has different things going on and different nurture points in terms of their own health.

Speaker 3: 13:03

But we want that stress response to resolve and we also want to integrate that trauma or that loss into our lives so that we can get on with normal functioning. So, clinically, for me, the way I would answer that question would be am I seeing signs that the cortisol is starting to come back to normal? Is the person in front of me eating regularly? Are they sleeping? Is their sense of self okay? Are there any mental health red flags? Are they catching cold after cold after cold, and what is their experience like? So I'm looking for signs that things are getting back to normal and they're able to integrate that loss. Yeah, if it's been a few months since the breakup and the person still isn't sleeping, or they've become more anxious or depressed than usual, or they're dealing with a lot more gut inflammation or inflammation in their musculoskeletal system, perhaps a new migraine pattern, then there are red flags there for me and there's a bit of intervention needed.

Speaker 2: 14:18

Okay, so let's talk intervention and I'm very interested as well just to circle back to a couple of things you said there. We've discussed the sleep and the digestion. Inflammation was really big for me. My joints felt like they were on fire because, yeah, there was clearly like an inflammation response and a blood pressure response in my body when I was going through this so let's talk intervention.

Speaker 2: 14:44

We know that our cortisol is off the charts. We want to get it down. We want a decent night's sleep. We want to be able to eat properly. You can't function when all of these things are happening. If you're not getting enough sleep, if you're not practicing proper nutrition, if you're run down and your immune system's compromised, it's going to be very difficult to get out of bed. So what can we do? What are effective treatments for reducing cortisol?

Speaker 3: 15:16

I like to start with a very, very basic idea of let's be kind to yourself, let's recognize that this is stress, and let's also recognize that stress has a direct physiological function and impact on it. So all of these feelings and sensations are real. They're not in your head, you're not going mad. They're very real and there is help for them. So sometimes starting with that validation is really important and that can bring stress down. I like to start with some basic tools that you can do for free and anywhere. So when I'm talking, start with the basics. So start with the breath, some deep belly breathing. I love this because you can do it anywhere and it's immediate. The physiological impact of some deep belly breathing is immediate and that's a wonderful tool and we forget about it when we're stressed, because we're in survival mode.

Speaker 2: 16:18

Yeah, so our breathing is low and very high up in our chest. We want to bring that down into our belly to really sort of increase that oxygen.

Speaker 3: 16:28

yeah, and often, you know, we're in situations where we have to make a lot of decisions, but we're also stuck in survival mode, which means it's very tricky to make these decisions. Yes, so to remember to do some deep breathing just helps with the oxygenation, it helps to temporarily turn down cortisol and literally give you a bit of breathing space. So I love that. It sounds really basic, but we all forget it Then. The other thing I like to say is to please, please, make friends with breakfast. And this is easier said than done because, like we've just talked about, our digestive system isn't our body's priority right now, because we're flooded with cortisol and that primal part of our brain is just obsessed with our survival. So, yes, let's shut down the gut, but if we eat breakfast, we can actually help to naturally bring down our cortisol level.

Speaker 3: 17:26

So fasting is all the rage at the moment and that's great, but there's a big gender bias in that research. We know that it's not. Particularly the way that it's being promoted at the moment isn't as great for women as it is for men, and especially women with higher cortisol levels. So if you're dealing with a high cortisol state right now, skipping breakfast is not the best choice for you. So, ideally, eat within an hour of waking or before 10. And I don't care what that is, it doesn't have to be traditional breakfast food, it can be anything. Just stick some food in your gob, chew it and swallow it. Right, it can help.

Speaker 2: 18:08

Yeah, okay. Stick some food in your gob, chew it and swallow it. Right, it can help. Yeah, okay.

Speaker 3: 18:11

And it can also help to regulate the insulin by lowering your blood glucose. So a lot of people tell me that after a stressful event in their lives, they accumulated extra tummy fat. That's why one of the easy things we can do is just remember to eat breakfast.

Speaker 1: 18:33

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Speaker 2: 19:28

Yeah, well, look, I feel quite seen here, julianne, because I'm not a massive breakfast eater and I'm really a little bit taken aback with, as you say, fasting is sort of all the rage and the whole. Don't eat till lunchtime and then pack all your stuff in before six o'clock. That it's not really going to work for you if you've got high cortisol levels and you're a woman.

Speaker 3: 19:56

Yeah, and I mean there'll be time to do that later. But when you're dealing with a big stress response, really think about what health interventions you're engaging in. You don't want to be adding fuel to the fire of your stress response by doing anything that your body will register as a stress yes, or a threat.

Speaker 2: 20:18

Got it? Yeah, okay, all right, so we've got eat breakfast. Yeah, very important. Okay, what else can we do?

Speaker 3: 20:28

Yeah, Prioritize sleep, like you are a new parent with a baby, but in this case your own sleep, because it's a vicious cycle. So the elevated cortisol, as we said, can make it really hard to get to sleep and you end up in that tired and wired space.

Speaker 3: 20:45

Yeah, but then poor sleep will drive up cortisol. So a gift you can give yourself is sleep hygiene. This can be give yourself a bedtime, have a hot bath or a shower before bed, watch how much alcohol or coffee you're having. Yeah, um, quite often when we're in that stress response and we're not eating, we rely on coffee to get through the day and then alcohol to wind down. That's not a you know, that's not being our own best friend in that regard. It's natural. It's a natural way to self-medicate, but it comes with its own problems. So if sleep is being really proving to be really tricky for you, this would be an area where I'd probably reach out and get some help for this, whether it's herbal, using anti-anxiety herbs or herbs that are calming or something like melatonin Definitely reach out here, because that lack of sleep can also drive inflammation. Yeah, okay, drive inflammation.

Speaker 2: 21:49

Yeah, okay, got it. Yeah, all right. So yeah, there's obviously certain herbs and melatonin is quite readily available these days to sort of get you back onto temporarily, using it to get back onto like a really healthy sleep pattern.

Speaker 3: 22:05

Yeah, yeah, onto like a really healthy sleep pattern yeah.

Speaker 2: 22:09

And we also know that if you don't sleep enough, the Dalai Lama can be delivering you the pearls of wisdom from the gods that are the most profound thing you've ever heard in your life. But if you're actually not sleeping, your brain can't integrate anything that it's learning.

Speaker 3: 22:28

Yeah, absolutely, yeah, absolutely, yeah, absolutely yeah, absolutely yeah. Herbs generally have a lot to offer people in this stage of their stress response, post-breakup, because in herbal medicine we've got a whole class of herbs known as adaptogens. Yeah, and these you know, they exist in nature and I just love the fact that they exist because they're just meant for us in our tricky times. They help us to modulate the stress response. Pharmaceutical medicine has no equivalent of this class of herbal medicine, and to get the right adaptogenic herb for you is a marvellous thing when you're dealing with a high stress load. You know there's a lot of stress in life that will come and go, definitely. Sometimes we just need extra help.

Speaker 2: 23:22

So what sort of things might we look at as supplements or ways to help us with this? And, yeah, adaptogens if you haven't done any reading on adaptogens, do it because, as Julianne says, there's actually no traditional medicine equivalent to what adaptogens can actually do. They're amazing little things and you need to do some reading on that. But yeah, what sort of things would you look at for a client that has this elevated cortisol and is just desperate to get it down so they can function?

Speaker 3: 23:56

Yeah. So I would start with prescribing the right adaptogenic herb for them, coupled with nervous system support herbs. We need to be sending the nervous system messages of safety and we can do that by a lifestyle intervention, by nutrition. But herbal medicine is also wonderful for that because, let's face it, sometimes we're just not feeling in a safe place, for whatever reason it may be that we're not safe. That relationship breakup may have been incredibly traumatic. It could be because we're grieving, it could be just because we're processing too much change, or the relationship breakup happened and there's also kids and extended family and we're not able to care for ourselves as we otherwise normally would. So sometimes we need to take something to give ourselves, to give our nervous system that message of safety.

Speaker 2: 24:56

Yeah, okay.

Speaker 3: 24:57

Because when our brain and our nervous system gets that message of safety, it's pretty good at regulating these hormones on its own, but sometimes it does need that prompt. So I would be starting with the right mix of herbs for that person, with some nutritional interventions. Magnesium can be helpful for a lot of women and men, but especially if there's cardiovascular involvement. And I mentioned women because we know from studies that women are at risk of cardiovascular disease at a certain point in life anyway. But we know that cardiovascular events are more common after loss, whether it's bereavement or relationship breakdown. Yes, so the heart should be on your radar as a nurture point, but not just in the emotional realm, in the very physical response yeah, To trauma, to breakup, to loss.

Speaker 2: 26:01

Yeah, there was a kind of cardiomyopathy that is actually called broken heart syndrome, because it comes on after bereavement or heartbreak and it does actually physically affect the heart.

Speaker 3: 26:18

It really does, and I think in our culture we're a bit guilty for thinking that the normal heart attack victim is an older, overweight man yeah Whereas in fact you know it's often female, perhaps around midlife, not necessarily overweight. But if you've got a whole load of extra cortisol in the system, then your cardiovascular system needs to be on your radar as part of your self-care and something to really look after.

Speaker 2: 26:55

Okay. So in terms of the support, obviously getting the right adaptogenic herbs you would need to go to a medical herbalist to have a look at that. You did mention magnesium as something that's readily available and of course, we talked about melatonin for sleep. Are there any other like helpful sort of things that will support our nervous system in these first horrific couple of weeks?

Speaker 3: 27:23

Oh, there are so, so many. Yay, we love that. Yeah, so I mentioned things like breakfast. That's a bit of a hack. Yeah, getting out into some green space is a wonderful hack.

Speaker 3: 27:39

So you've probably heard of the Japanese concept of forest bathing, and that's just basically exposing yourself to some green space consciously and intentionally, and then, after about seven minutes so you don't need a lot of time here there are measurable differences in terms of your cortisol levels, your blood pressure, and even sustained responses that are beneficial for your immune system, wow. So what I would suggest is that when we're flooded with cortisol, it feels like we're on a treadmill. Yes, we're going from one thing to the next, to the next. It's not always the time of your life where you're going to book a massage, although that would be brilliant but what I would suggest is if you can park your car next to a park and walk through that park, not looking at your phone, not looking at the footpath, but actually look up, connect to the grass, connect to the trees, think five to seven minutes. We know that that's going to turn down your cortisol, which will give your blood pressure a break, which can even allow you a bit of space to do some of that deep breathing, and this is free, but we just have to make ourselves do it. Yes, but it does have a measurable response. I would also look at checking in with our anger Now.

Speaker 3: 29:08

Quite often, post-breakup, there may be a lot of legitimate things to be really angry about, and that's okay. Healthy anger is awesome, but if you note that you're getting stuck in an anger response, this could be a risk to your cardiovascular system as well. So use that as a bit of a cue to oh, perhaps I need some help with this, because we know that anger can cause vasoconstriction in your bloodstream that can last up to six hours. So, for instance, if you're regularly checking in on your ex's social and this is making you really angry, let this be a gift to yourself and just stop. The cost to your physical and mental health is way too high. So the urge is there and cortisol will be driving the urge. Because cortisol is wanting you to do something, anything, and so often we'll be doing a lot of pointless busy work. Yep, press the pause button.

Speaker 2: 30:08

Such brilliant advice. Yes, yeah, yeah, like I love these, just these little tweaks that we can make to really sort of like support our nervous system. It's fantastic.

Speaker 3: 30:24

Yeah, and for the extra bit of nervous system support, and something that we're generally not great at is give yourself a little check in what am I doing well or what went well today. In what am I doing well or what went well today, this could be as basic as you know. I got up and I got dressed and got through the day. Give yourself that mental high five and own that win, because that has a calming effect on our nervous system compared to if we're just mentally beating ourselves up all the time.

Speaker 2: 30:56

For sure, absolutely.

Speaker 3: 30:58

So if you manage to eat breakfast, own it. Own it as a win. You've just made a positive choice for yourself and your whole system will benefit.

Speaker 2: 31:07

Yeah, for sure I love it. These are all like just these tiny little tweaks, but if we don't consider them and we stay in that whirlwind, then the cortisol will continue because it still thinks there's a threat and it's really going to disrupt our lives.

Speaker 3: 31:25

Yeah, I think it's good to have that cortisol awareness which is driving us to be busy, driving us to keep moving, perhaps driving us to not be so friendly to ourselves and just find ways to get off the treadmill. I think that this is actually a pretty remarkable stage of your life in that it's not normal. Yes, your body-mind system has put you into a survival response. There's been a reason for that and consequently, you know this is not your entire life. This is a bit of a chapter of your life that you will get through, but let's get through it well so that your body can get back to regulating and so that you can actually move forward from a position of strength. That's the best outcome for any sort of breakup.

Speaker 2: 32:15

Yeah, 100% it is, and I think even just that validation that you've put out there is that this is not a normal state of being.

Speaker 2: 32:24

So you get all these fantastic pieces of advice like just put your head down and keep working, you'll get over it. You're better off without them. None of this is helping. So to actually acknowledge that this is, as you say, a remarkable period in your life and I say remarkable not in a great way, but it is remarkable in that it's not day to day. We need to pay attention to that and treat it as such and make those tweaks. So if we were to put that in into a physical sense, for example, if we had a broken leg, there would be all of this intervention and all of these ways that we have to adapt to be able to function with that broken leg. But I think that a lot of people gloss over the fact that when there's a huge emotional disruption, that they don't give themselves the latitude to recognize that it is actually something that is quite major and a turning point in their lives and give themselves that grace to be able to move through it Absolutely, and I love that comparison to a broken leg.

Speaker 3: 33:40

If we were having a tricky emotional time, it's almost worth putting a Band-Aid somewhere on our physical selves where we can see it, to remind ourselves that you know what we're actually convalescing right now. We're healing, we're recalibrating. And bring in some kindness around that and send ourselves that message of safety.

Speaker 2: 34:01

Yeah, 100%. You're exactly right, and this has just been absolute gold in terms of not only how we can get our cortisol down, but also that validation that I think a lot of people need to hear that, yeah, we're going through something here, guys, and there are steps that we need to take in the same way as we would if we were physically unwell.

Speaker 3: 34:26

Yeah, yeah, and really, at the end of the day, we need to thank cortisol, because that very primal part of ourselves wanting to keep us here, wanting to keep us on the planet and keep us alive, and that is marvellous, yes, but if you're starting to feel like you're struggling, you're not sleeping, you're not eating or you're living on crack or you've got some chest pain or you're just permanently tired and wired, reach out and get some help, because we can't always do this on our own, and nor should we A hundred percent, definitely, with something this big.

Speaker 2: 35:04

And look, I just say thank you for giving us these hacks that we can all implement. It doesn't necessarily mean that there's this immense, costly process. There are certain things that we can take control of and implement immediately to work on this and getting our cortisol under control so that we can just let ourselves know that we are actually safe there is no saber-toothed tiger and give ourselves that latitude that it is something huge, but we have the tools to be able to help ourselves re-regulate our nervous system after a big event the bomb going off, as I like to call it. Absolutely. Julianne, thank you so much for joining us on how to Hack your Heartbreak. I'm quite sure it won't be the last time. And thank you so much for breaking down cortisol for us all today.

Speaker 3: 36:00

My pleasure, Louise.

Speaker 1: 36:03

Thanks for listening to how to Hack your Heartbreak. Join our Heartbreak Hackers community for exclusive extended content, weekly Q&As, support and extra heartbreak hacks for less than the cost of a cup of coffee per week. Head over to howtohackyourheartbreakcom to subscribe.